Do You “Keep Score” With God?

I recently heard a friend talking about how he and his wife used to “keep score” in their marriage. Each of them kept a running count of what they did for their spouse. They did this to make sure the same amount was done for them! From a more mature marriage, this behavior looks almost childish. Yet we are often guilty of this same behavior with God!

keep score

One For Me, One For You!

Think about this. Have you ever tried to make a deal with God? You say, “I will do this mission project if You will do _____.” Or it may sound more like, “I will quit doing ______ if You will give me _____.” Has anything similar to this ever popped into your mind – or even your prayer?

Maybe an image will help.

Can you picture two kids divvying up their candy after a school party? They sit cross-legged on the floor and have this massive pile of candy. They are trying to split it evenly. “One for me and one for you. One for me and one for you.” On and on they do this until the candy is evenly divided.

We sometimes take this same “keep score” approach in our thinking with God.

I Keep Score

I can tell you honestly that this kind of thinking has entered my mind at times. Granted, it was not always this simple and easy to spot. I am much too complex for that! No, my skill for deceiving myself is too refined. The thoughts I have had that are similar to this come in disguise.

For example, I have often wondered why certain business opportunities have not been given to me when I know (think) I have done so much more for the kingdom than so-and-so has, yet they got several of those same certain opportunities! Does this sound familiar? Is it any different?

Maybe you have had these same thoughts, but in different disguises. Either way, I am betting that you can identify similar “keep score” thought patterns. If not, then congratulations! If so, then read on.

God Has Already Won!

The problem with this line of thinking in our relationship with God is that He has already won the game! He has already given us more than we could ever hope to repay or give back. In giving His only Son to die for us and accept our punishment, God has put the whole pile in our lap!

But that is not enough. He then goes on to dump more into our lap in the form of an eternity with Him and an inheritance we can never count! Seriously, are you ready to keep score and play, “one for me and one for you,” at that level?

That’s what I thought. Me neither.

Even Paul saw the futility in this mindset!

If anyone else thinks he has grounds for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised the eighth day; of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew born of Hebrews; regarding the law, a Pharisee; regarding zeal, persecuting the church; regarding the righteousness that is in the law, blameless.

But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ.
Philippians 3:4-7

How To Avoid “Keep Score” Behavior

So what are we to do in order to eliminate the “score keeping” in our minds and hearts? How do we remain thankful for the immeasurable gifts He has already given us?

Simply put – through repetition. I believe that we are to count our blessings over and over (very different from a “keep score” behavior). We are to pray with thanksgiving on a daily basis – specifically calling out those undeserved gifts mentioned above (salvation, forgiveness, and eternity) AS WELL AS those He continues to give us on a daily basis.

There should never be a time when we stop doing this. As long as we continue to thank Him for what He has given, we are so much less likely to feel entitled to more. What we do ask for is also more likely to be in the interests of others we know who need Him!

Have you tried to “keep score” with God like this?

What were the results?

Do you have any other advice for avoiding the “keep score” behavior?

Is Your Eternal Perspective Out Of Focus?

As I get older, I have more and more trouble seeing the small print. My eyes simply will not focus like they used to! If operating correctly, when focusing on a distant object, near objects will be fuzzy. If focusing on near objects, the distant ones will blur. Jesus taught us this about our eternal perspective!

eternal perspective

Jesus And Eternal Perspective

Say what? You heard me! Jesus effectively told us this very truth as He taught us to have an eternal perspective. If you do not believe me, then keep reading. I think you will agree once I have had a chance to explain!

First, let’s take a look at how Jesus taught us to have an eternal perspective. Here are a couple of passages that direct our focus to the eternal.

You are blessed when they insult and persecute you and falsely say every kind of evil against you because of Me. Be glad and rejoice, because your reward is great in heaven.
Matthew 5:11-12

Don’t collect for yourselves treasures[n] on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal.
Matthew 6:19-20

Jesus wants us to realize that this life is only a prelude to what He has in store for us in heaven. We are not to focus on the earthly pleasures, but to realize instead that our reward is in heaven.

Jesus And End Times

Jesus also teaches us what it will look like during the end times. He is not secretive about this, but actually tells us how to know when this time is upon us.

In fact, much of the whole chapter of Matthew 24 is dedicated to describing what that time will look like. He is so descriptive, it is easy to imagine how scary it will be. In fact, there are many similarities between Jesus’ description of the end times and what is going on around us today.

Jesus talks of wars and rumors of wars. He mentions nation rising up against nation as well as famines and earthquakes. All of this dark description can quickly remind us of what we see on the news every day. It is easy to get concerned or even depressed.

Jesus Returns!

But just when it looks the worst, the following verses get us excited!

Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the peoples of the earth will mourn; and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet, and they will gather His elect from the four winds,from one end of the sky to the other.
Matthew 24:30-31

When Jesus talks about this, I want to shout! I want to gather my family together and hunker down in anticipation of the trumpet! Surely, He is coming soon and we can go on to our reward, right?

Wrong.

Not For Us To Know

There is one small – often overlooked – verse at the beginning of Acts that should bring our eternal perspective back into focus. The disciples have effectively asked Jesus if the end was about to begin. Take a look at Jesus’ words in response.

He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority.”
Acts 1:7

We have already seen where Jesus taught them (and us) what the end times would look like. We know He has pointed us to that time for our reward. So why is it that He is now telling them (and us) not to worry about the timing of the end?

Dual Focus Not Possible!

I think Jesus knows exactly what I was talking about at the beginning of this post. When we focus on distant objects (or times), the nearby objects (or times) become fuzzy.

Jesus knows if we begin focusing on the timing of the end, the responsibilities we have in the near term will become fuzzy. We will lose sight of the job we have today (adding silhouettes) while we prepare to wait for the end.

Instead, He wants us to KNOW about the end and how awesome it will be for us, but He does not want us to focus on that time. He wants us to focus on the jobs we have right now – relying on Him to reward us then for what is done now.

Refocus On Tasks At Hand

So, if you find yourself thinking too much about that Day, just know that your eternal perspective is out of focus! Some people would say you are too heavenly minded to be any earthly good!

When this happens, force yourself to bring your attention back to the present and to the good works He has prepared for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). When you do that, you will be in a position to bear more fruit.

Have you allowed your eternal perspective to drift?

How do you make sure your attention does not remain there?

How would you advise someone to maintain their eternal perspective in the present?

Part-Time Father?

I joke around a lot about being the father of three teenage children. I am sure you have either experienced or heard about the ups and downs of parenting children at this tough age as they are transitioning into young adults. I can promise you it can be thrilling and challenging at the same time. What would you think if I said I have decided that I only want to be a father for somewhere between 5-10 hours per week?

father

Part-Time Father

Just for kicks, lets say I decided that for one day a week I decided I would actively parent my children. That is to say, for 5-10 hours on that one day, I would intentionally participate in their activities. We would play together, have a meal or two together, and I might even teach them something.

For the rest of the week, I would virtually ignore them. I would not do this in an ugly way or even to appear cold. I would just put my Dad “hat” on a shelf. Can you imagine how much stress and worry this would remove from my life?

Worth It?

Sure, there may be some very cool experiences I would miss, but there would not be that many of those, right? I mean, the trade-off would be worth it, wouldn’t it?

Clearly, I would have time to do so many other things I have wanted to do. Plus, I would no longer have to worry about so many of those issues that seem to suck the fun out of my life. Can’t you see my reasoning? Am I on the right track?

Your Response?

Right now, I imagine there are several thoughts running through your mind. First, you likely want to tell me that no matter how I spend my time, with or without focusing on my children, I am still a father. Once God gave us that first child, I became forever a father. This is not a title that I can remove at will or for convenience. It is from then on part of who I am – part of my identity.

Next, you would probably want to convince me that even though there are obvious struggles and challenges associated with parenting teenagers, the rewards far outweigh them. You probably want to share your own stories or experiences of how the struggles actually turned into success just when it looked the darkest.

Finally, you would likely use the argument that I took on the responsibility of my children when I became their father. This responsibility includes providing for their needs and teaching them the skills and knowledge they will need to become healthy adults.

Here’s The Problem

Okay, I get all of that. Actually, I agree with all of it. But I have a problem.

In fact, I have a pretty big problem with these arguments.

If all of this is true, why is it that so many Christians think we can do the same thing with our identity as followers of Christ?

Why do so many of us believe that we can be “Christian” for 5-10 hours on Sunday, but the rest of the week is free for us to do as we please?

Is One Day Enough?

I am not really even talking about those who are in church on Sunday and living in obvious and destructive sin the rest of the week. I AM talking about those of us who are in church on Sunday, remain (mostly) morally clean, and do a decent job of staying out of trouble the rest of the week.

Even so, it is this same group that believes this is enough. Though remaining (mostly) morally clean and out of trouble the rest of the week, that is where it ends.

We see nothing wrong with putting our Bible on the shelf Sunday afternoon and picking it back up the next Sunday morning. From Monday to Saturday, we act as if we are free to do as we please (even within moral constraints). And whatever we do, we think it is okay to keep it distinct and separate from our identity as Christians!

There Is No Difference!

Folks, this is no less crazy than me thinking I can stop being a father whenever I want. We are followers of Jesus. We have given our lives over to Him as Lord, not just Savior. When we did this, we forever became children and disciples of His.

This is now and forever part of our identity. Whether we are actively doing something related to our faith or not, we are still His children. Just like being a father, this is not a title we can set aside at will.

There Will Be Challenges!

Of course, when you do this you will face challenges you have never known before. You will wrestle with decisions that used to come easily to you. You will begin to consider the eternal impact of your actions (and inactions) when before you never gave it a second thought.

This is not for the faint of heart. This is tough and you will struggle through it, but there is hope! When we live out our faith 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, regardless of the circumstances or location, the rewards are incredible. Just like being a father, these rewards far outweigh the challenges.

Our Responsibility!

Finally, we have taken on the responsibility of living out our faith. Our most important commandment, as told by Jesus himself, is to love the Lord with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength (Matthew 22:37-40). This is not possible one day per week. It is not possible if we leave Him on the shelf as we head out to work.

No, we are 24/7 to be identified with Jesus. We are to live out our faith in ALL areas of our lives. Whether at work, school, at church, or in the community – we are to identify ourselves with Him. Whether we want to or not, we cannot be a Christian for only 5-20 hours per week.

What are your thoughts?

Can you imagine actually defending the part-time father theory?

What do you need to change?

How To Win The Lottery

Have you ever thought about actually winning the lottery? Have you allowed your mind to wander into the thoughts about what you would do with the money? In my last post, I posed the question, “What if you won the lottery?”. In discussing the answer to that question, we looked at all of the various ways we could use the money. Today, I will show you HOW to win!

lottery

How To Win

Without taking the time for the necessary drumroll or hoopla, I will dive right in and tell you how you can win the lottery. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I want you to stop right now and follow these two steps:

1.) Close your eyes.

2.) Open your eyes.

Presto! You are now a lottery winner!

Lottery Winner?

Don’t believe me? Take a look around. If you are reading this blog right now, you are among the top 34% of the world population simply because you have access to the internet. Not good enough for you?

Let’s look a little further. While there are certainly exceptions, I am going to assume you have an annual income of more than $10,000 per year. If so, you are among the world’s top 15% richest. Let that sink in.

If you make more than $25,000 a year, that ranking jumps you to the top 2% of the world’s richest! That means 98% of the world’s population makes less money per year than you do! No kidding. (Go to http://www.globalrichlist.com to see your own income ranked! )

Disagree?

So, please tell me how it is that you think you have not already won the lottery?

Clearly, virtually everyone reading this post has huge wealth advantages over the vast majority of the rest of the world. There really is no way to argue that. So now, let’s go back and review some of our thoughts from the last post.

Previous Statements

We agreed that many of us have made some of the following statements about what we would do if we won the lottery. How do these statements look now…?

I would tithe on the income!

I would give away a huge portion of the income!

I would not have any debt!

If I could not afford it with the lottery income, then I would not buy it!

My expenses would never outrun my income!

I would carve out a portion for savings for those unexpected expenses!

I would not fall into the trap of trying to keep up with the Jones’!

I would set aside a portion to help those around me in crisis!

How Do You Feel?

What are your thoughts now? Do you see any hypocrisy in the above statements or do you feel good about how you are handling your wealth? I have to admit to having bruised toes myself.

So, what should we do? What does the Bible say about how we should handle our wealth? Good question. Let’s look.

Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God, who richly provides us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do what is good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good reserve for the age to come, so that they may take hold of life that is real.
1 Timothy 6:17-19

We ARE The Rich!

Folks, If you have read this passage before and not realized it was talking directly to you, then you are not alone. Typically, when we read this, we think of all those people that are richer than we are.

However, as we see in the statistics above, we ARE those who are “rich in this present age.” So, what are we doing with that wealth? What are we doing with the businesses we own or operate?

Are we “rich in good works”? Are we “generous, willing to share”?

Are we “storing up for ourselves a good reserve for the age to come”?

Use Of Wealth?

When you read that last question, what comes to mind for you? For me, it is the following verses that I have used frequently on this site. Take a look:

If anyone’s work that he has built survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire.
1 Corinthians 3:14-15

Eternal Impact

We are to be using the wealth WE ALREADY HAVE to be rich in good works, generous, and willing to share. We are to use this wealth to store up a reserve of reward that will last into eternity – eternal impact!

As I have said before, we are to be multiplying silhouettes – adding to the kingdom. In this way, we give God the only currency he wants – more souls to spend eternity with Him.

We have to take a look at our current “lottery” income and resources. We have to do a deep search into our hearts to make sure we are using what He has given us for His purposes.

What comes to mind when you think about your situation?

What do you wish you had done differently in the past?

What do you need to change now?

What If You Won The Lottery?

The other day I was thinking about all of the worthy Christian ministry organizations I have become aware of in the past several years (e.g. TrueLife Mission). I thought about how much money they are all trying to raise in order to accomplish the mission God has given them. At one point I even thought about how much I could help them if I could just win the lottery!

lottery

Not About The Lottery!

Now before you start commenting one way or the other on the morality of a lottery or anything like that, please know that this post is not at all about the lottery itself. We are simply going to take a look, in this post AND the next one, at how we would (and should) handle such enormous wealth if it were at our disposal.

Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever dreamed of winning the lottery? I have and I don’t even play it! In fact, I have thought often about what I would do with that kind of money. Whether it came from a sudden windfall (like the lottery) or even from a successful business endeavor – what would you do with a huge sum of money?

Failed Previous Winners?

Certainly, when you look at the stories of many of those who HAVE won the lottery, it is sad to see how it has so often destroyed the winners. So many lottery winners have had a short and wild ride, but then end up in worse financial condition than they were in before the lottery paid them.

Reasons For Failure

There are many reasons for this, I am sure. One, they are not trained in how to handle such large sums of money. Another reason may be that with their additional income, they likely see themselves in another “class” of people. They feel they have to spend more to keep up with these people.

I am sure they also underestimate how expensive the higher class lifestyle can be. The more expensive house comes with higher property taxes, higher utilities and maintenance costs, etc. The expenses begin to snowball before they even realize what has happened.

An obvious reason is likely that they are not focused on what God would have them do with the money. While some are charitable to a point, many spend more of their time trying to protect their wealth from anything or anyone that may threaten it rather than seeing how they could give more.

It Would Be Different!

If you have ever thought about what you would do if you won the lottery, then you have likely told yourself you would never let those things happen to you, right?

You have probably said, like I have, that you would first tithe on the winnings. Then you would probably plan to give away a huge portion of the lottery winnings to other organizations. I have picked out several mission organizations that would benefit from my lottery winnings.

Debts Gone!

You likely determined that the next amount would be carved out to pay off all of your debt. Then, you would probably be determined not to let that debt get so high ever again. If you cannot afford something with your new lottery winnings, then you just won’t buy it!

You have also probably said that you would never allow your expenses to outrun your winnings – even unexpected expenses. You probably decided, like I did, that you would carve out another portion for savings – to be used in the event of an emergency. This is just smart thinking, right?

Avoid the “Jones'” Trap!

I would also bet you thought about how you would not allow yourself to fall into the trap of trying to keep up with others (the Jones’) who had similar or greater incomes. In fact, you have probably determined that this winning would not really change who you are or how you live today (for the most part).

Finally, if you are like me, you probably decided you would set aside some of the money for those small, unpredictable times when someone you know is in need. You would want to be able help those around you when they come upon a crisis and with your newfound wealth, that should not be a problem.

What Else?

If I have left anything out, please let me know in the comments. Otherwise, stay tuned for the next post where we look at what I think we SHOULD do if we were to win the lottery. You may have some idea of where I am headed with this…we’ll see!

Have you thought about this?

What thoughts would you add?

What would you offer for our next post’s discussion?

What Will Your Funeral Look Like?

I have said many times before that I am a reader. I love reading and learning new things. For some reason, it is a burning desire of mine. However, there is something I love more than reading – that is being able to actually apply what I have learned in a way that changes how I live! The best example of this came from Stephen Covey and the image of my funeral!

funeral

Start With The End In Mind

If you are a reader and also a leader in the business world, then the likelihood is high that you have read Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you have not, please stop now and go get it. His writing is a lot better than mine!

Well, if you are still with me, then I assume you have read Covey’s book. One of my favorite parts of the book was called “Start with the end in mind.” In this section, Covey recommended that we imagine our own funeral and what is being said about us. He then went on to effectively say that we should determine what it is we want people to say about us and begin living that way.

When I combined this idea with Scripture that talks about the rewards in eternity versus the futility of chasing what this world offers, I began to form a picture of what I wanted my life to look like.

“Well Done”

In fact, the one thing I am most driven to hear said about my life is, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share in your Master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21)

The challenge with hearing this is making sure to focus on those things with which He wants me to be faithful. I have to tell you, He is not concerned with the money I stack up or the luxuries I accumulate. He is not going to praise me for my wealth or my fame.

He Wants Eternal Impact

He already owns all of that and does not need any more from me.

What Jesus wants from me is eternal impact. He wants me to leverage all that He has given me in a way that points more people to Him. He wants me to spend every ounce of energy and effort that I have in me to increase the number of souls in eternity with Him. I picture these as silhouettes HERE.

Your Funeral?

So, if we go back to Covey’s illustration of our funeral, I think there is something you need to think about. As you picture yourself lying there and your funeral is in progress, what is going through your mind? What are you proud of? What are your regrets?

If your funeral was happening today, would you be pleased with how you finished?

The Difference

When we reach the end of this life, we will all wish we had done more ministry. None of us will wish we had done more business. The difference is that the person with the eternal perspective recognizes this now and tries to live accordingly.

What is God leading you to change?

Have you ever taken the time to imagine your own funeral?

Were you pleased with what you saw?

What would you want to change?