If you are in business then you have been frustrated, even all-out angry! Things happen so often in business that can cause frustration. Whatever the cause of the issue, we have all felt our blood boil and we start looking for a way to take action. We have to do something or we will explode! Today, I am going to give you a list of things you should NOT do when you are angry!
If you have not been full of anger to the point of expressing it in a way that you later regret, then it is likely you have not been in the business world very long. If you are a business veteran and have never overreacted in anger, then you are to be admired. For the rest of us, this is something we likely need some help with on a regular basis!
When was the last time you got angry at work? More important than what caused your anger to come to the surface, how did you handle it?
Looking back (maybe even just minutes ago!), are you proud of the way you acted or do you wish you could have a do-over? Would you be okay with a quick video of your reaction showing on the news tonight or being shared all over Facebook and Twitter? Or more likely, would you prefer everyone who witnessed your actions would forget all about them?
If you are in the majority of us that on occasion allow their anger to get the best of us, then maybe you need to stop and take a look at this issue with me. I can promise that you are not alone, but at the same time that is not a valid excuse anymore than jumping off the bridge because everyone else did!
The Bible is pretty clear when it comes to anger and how we express it. In fact, I will share quite a few verses that address this very topic. However, before I do this, I want to make sure we are addressing the right topic.
While you may think the topic of anger should be fairly self-evident, there is actually more to it than you might think. See, anger is not the problem. In fact, anger by itself is not a sin. There is nothing in the world wrong with anger.
God is perfectly holy and without sin. Yet throughout the Old Testament, there are descriptions of God’s anger – always in response to sin (Deuteronomy 11:16-17). Jesus walked this earth without sin, but we all know about the scene at the temple when, in anger, he overturned the tables of the moneychangers and those selling animals for sacrifice (Matthew 21:12-13).
Anger is simply an emotion that God gave us. We can experience anger without committing sin. God can use our righteous anger to drive us to improve conditions around us that do not honor him. Pure (sinless) anger can motivate us to act when other emotions cannot.
The problem is when we add other emotions or motivations into the mix. For example, when we add pride to anger, we are driven to verbally abuse an employee or coworker because their performance made us look bad. Adding jealousy to anger may cause us to lash out at someone else on our team that is getting more credit for their work than we are.
Of course, not all sinful anger is acted out by the tongue, but I think this is probably the most often used tool for expressing anger – especially in the workplace. The tongue can bring healing, but it can also cut and seriously injure those around us when not controlled (James 3:3-12). Unfortunately, it is not easily controlled!
Before you think you have found a loophole, I want to close it quickly. Whether you are using a smart phone, tablet, or a computer, your keyboard is also a tongue! Sometimes we kid ourselves and think that we can lash out with our texts, emails, or social media posts and that this is somehow different than using our tongue. Sorry, but that won’t fly.
We simply cannot allow our anger to drive us to sin. We are instead to be shining examples of mercy, forgiveness, and grace. We are Christ’s ambassadors in the marketplace and we cannot afford to dishonor His name. We CAN get angry if we will make sure that anger remains controlled and is directed at injustice or evil in a way that honors the God who gave it to us!
In a recent discussion on this very topic, a wise friend of mine described it in a way that makes it clear to me:
Don’t let madness come into play with your anger!”
In your free time, read through the following verses and see if you have any further thoughts on anger and how it affects you. Share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Just over a week ago, I posted Don’t Do These 7 Things When You Are Angry. In a comment/question, Kari Scare asked what we ARE supposed to do when we are angry. Because she is a successful writer and blogger at Struggle To Victory, I asked her to guest post for me on the answer to her own question! The following is her guest post on anger management. Please make sure to let her know how much you enjoyed the post by commenting at the bottom!
Anger is inevitable. This is especially true the more we interact with others, such as daily at work or with our families at home. Even Jesus got angry (Matthew 21:12-13), and the Old Testament provides many references to God’s anger.
Anger is not a sin; the key is to avoid sinning when angry. Having a plan for when anger hits not only provides a way to avoid sin, but it also allows for self-control to increase as we choose to not “give full vent” to our anger (Proverbs 29:11). The Bible also indicates that we must also control or limit (Ecclesiastes 7:9 and Proverbs 14:17) and even get rid of our anger (Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:31-32).
I remember a time in my life when my temper easily flared, and I was known for being somewhat volatile. If God hadn’t taught me how to control and even how to eliminate anger, I would have continued believing this was simply “the way that I am” with no hope for change. Yet, He did work in my life in this way.
The following 5 suggestions for how to control and prevent anger stem directly from that struggle:
1. Keep from getting angry in the first place.
In other words, deal with issues while they are still small. The bigger a conflict becomes, the more overwhelming it feels, and the more likely anger will rise up.
2. Deal with root cause issues.
3. Realize you don’t know the whole story.
You may never know the root cause of their behavior, but you can avoid letting it negatively impact yours. Chances are you don’t know the whole story, so err on the side of grace when dealing with others.
4. Be aware not only of words spoken but the tone used.
Personally, I find that gentle answers come more easily the more I listen. So, the less I speak and the more I seek to understand, the more gentle my words become.
5. Get and use wisdom.
Having wisdom means listening more and truly hearing what others say. It means avoiding those who struggle controlling their anger or who seem to provoke you easily. Wisdom means knowing when to walk away, to stay well-rested, and to avoid those blood-sugar highs and lows that make emotions difficult to manage. Pursue wisdom, and anger will begin to subside.
Whenever we eliminate bad habits, only getting rid of the negative creates a weak defense. When the opportunity presents itself to employ that habit, not having an alternative can spell certain disaster. God has a way of testing us in areas in which we are trying to mature and grow, which is helpful since that’s really the only way we’ll grow.
To properly prepare for this future challenge, the negative must be replaced with positive. In other words, simply getting rid of my anger and bad temper was not enough. I needed to replace it with another “go to” response. But what response?
We find the answer in Colossians 3:8 & 12, which tell us to “put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language” and to replace them with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” As the fruit of the Spirit increase in our lives, their counterparts will naturally decrease. Avoid having an empty house that will be “worse than the first” if left untended (Luke 11:24-26).
Today, I can happily say that anger no longer controls me. While I do get angry once in a while, the above lessons serve to prevent and often eliminate anger, and suggestions such as those found in Don’t Do These 7 Things When You Are Angry help keep me from sinning when I am angry. No, my score is still not 100% in controlling my anger, but it sure improves as I deliberately and intentionally employ the instruction the Bible gives for managing anger.
What do you do to manage your anger?
Have you replaced any bad anger habits with good ones?
If you are still struggling with anger, what are you going to change?
Please leave comments to let Kari know how good this post was! You can read more from Kari at her blog – Struggle to Victory.