3 Keys To Creating New Habits

In my last two posts, I went into detail about a daily game plan that I am working on in an effort to avoid spiritual drift and remain focused on my life plan. While I am certainly seeing some results that are promising, it is also a struggle for me. In comment on the last post, fellow blogger Kari Scare mentioned this same struggle in creating a new habit.

Here are her comments:

I would love to consistently use something like this. But, something inside of me…keeps it from becoming a habit. In fact, I did use something similar to this for a while but ended up going back to my list method…I still wonder at my inability to stick with that.

I’m a driven person, very productive. I stick to the focus areas that my husband and I set. Yet, I realize how something like this would amplify my life. SO, maybe you could address some of what I struggle with in another post.

New Habit Struggle?

Do you experience this kind of struggle in creating a new habit? Do you get frustrated at your inability to remain consistent with a new habit even when you know it will improve your life?

If you struggle like this, you are not alone. Just visit a fitness club or gym during the first week in January and again in mid-March. There is a huge difference in how busy it is, right? The fallout is huge!

Magic Formula?

So what we really want to know is how to overcome this struggle in creating new habits. What is the magic formula for beating this part of us that resists new habits (at least the good ones!) and keeps us from improving?

Well, to start off, there is not a magic formula. I will not even try to convince you that I have the silver bullet for this problem.

New Habits Not Impossible

What I will tell you is that it is not an impossible feat to create new habits. People that are faced with decisions between exercising and facing life-threatening medical issues have proven this to be true over and over. Others have done it without the threat to life. So how do they do it?

As I said, I do not have a silver bullet, but I do have some simple insights. Take a look at the following three keys and see if they make sense to you. While this is not a guaranteed formula, I am convinced that if all three keys are present, your odds of successfully creating a new habit will increase exponentially!

#1 – It MUST Be A Priority To You

While this may sound overly simplistic, it is true. Either it IS or it IS NOT a priority for you. If you are absolutely confident that any given tool or habit will make your days better and your life more effective, then you just have to decide if that is what you want.

It cannot be a suggestion someone else is making for you. It cannot be something that would be “cool” if you did it. Nor can it be something you are guilted into doing.

You have to want it more than whatever else is currently occupying the time it takes to do it (e.g. exercise vs. 30 minutes more sleep). You have to want it more than it will cost you in time, money, effort, etc. If you want it badly enough, then you will make it work.

#2 – Enlist Accountability

Look back at Kari’s comments. What is the one thing she mentioned that she is able to stick to? Exactly, it is the focus areas that she commits to with her husband! I do not believe that is a coincidence.

Is this the only way? No. Can we develop a new habit without accountability? Sure. I did not say this is the only way. It will just increase your odds exponentially. So if that is the case, why not enlist accountability.

This step is not really that tough. The accountability partner does not necessarily have to be creating the same new habit as you are (though it would certainly be helpful if they did). You just need to have a relationship with them that would cause you to avoid having to admit failure to them.

Just explain to them what you are trying to do and how you need them to help you with it. Then set up regular intervals for follow-up conversations. Give them a list of several key questions you want them to ask you. You could even make it fun (and increase the pressure) by committing to buy their lunch (or a coffee) every time you fall short of the new habit!

#3 – Embrace Grace!

Sure, it needs to be a habit. Sure it is better if we do it EVERY day without fail. At the same time, even this habit will eventually become stale and you will risk becoming legalistic about it. Instead of feeling like a failure when we miss a day or only half-way complete it, we should just give ourselves the grace that God gives us.

Move on. Start again tomorrow. The world will not end. Your life will not suddenly become ineffective and worthless. Don’t buy into the lie that one miss means the whole effort is over!

Of course, if the missed days begin to equal or outnumber the days you complete the task, then you need to refer back to #1. IS it or is it NOT something you need to be doing?

Summary

I hope this discussion helps you as you approach a new habit. My prayer is that we all continue to look for ways we can weave new habits into our lives that will continue to help conform us to the likeness of Christ. At the same time, we cannot see ourselves as failures when we fall short. We just need to get up and try again.

Have you attempted new habits with all three of these keys in place?

What were your results?

What is your biggest struggle in attempting to create new habits?