Do You “Keep Score” With God?

I recently heard a friend talking about how he and his wife used to “keep score” in their marriage. Each of them kept a running count of what they did for their spouse. They did this to make sure the same amount was done for them! From a more mature marriage, this behavior looks almost childish. Yet we are often guilty of this same behavior with God!

One For Me, One For You!

Think about this. Have you ever tried to make a deal with God? You say, “I will do this mission project if You will do _____.” Or it may sound more like, “I will quit doing ______ if You will give me _____.” Has anything similar to this ever popped into your mind – or even your prayer?

Maybe an image will help.

Can you picture two kids divvying up their candy after a school party? They sit cross-legged on the floor and have this massive pile of candy. They are trying to split it evenly. “One for me and one for you. One for me and one for you.” On and on they do this until the candy is evenly divided.

We sometimes take this same “keep score” approach in our thinking with God.

I Keep Score

I can tell you honestly that this kind of thinking has entered my mind at times. Granted, it was not always this simple and easy to spot. I am much too complex for that! No, my skill for deceiving myself is too refined. The thoughts I have had that are similar to this come in disguise.

For example, I have often wondered why certain business opportunities have not been given to me when I know (think) I have done so much more for the kingdom than so-and-so has, yet they got several of those same certain opportunities! Does this sound familiar? Is it any different?

Maybe you have had these same thoughts, but in different disguises. Either way, I am betting that you can identify similar “keep score” thought patterns. If not, then congratulations! If so, then read on.

God Has Already Won!

The problem with this line of thinking in our relationship with God is that He has already won the game! He has already given us more than we could ever hope to repay or give back. In giving His only Son to die for us and accept our punishment, God has put the whole pile in our lap!

But that is not enough. He then goes on to dump more into our lap in the form of an eternity with Him and an inheritance we can never count! Seriously, are you ready to keep score and play, “one for me and one for you,” at that level?

That’s what I thought. Me neither.

Even Paul saw the futility in this mindset!

If anyone else thinks he has grounds for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised the eighth day; of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew born of Hebrews; regarding the law, a Pharisee; regarding zeal, persecuting the church; regarding the righteousness that is in the law, blameless.

But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ.
Philippians 3:4-7

How To Avoid “Keep Score” Behavior

So what are we to do in order to eliminate the “score keeping” in our minds and hearts? How do we remain thankful for the immeasurable gifts He has already given us?

Simply put – through repetition. I believe that we are to count our blessings over and over (very different from a “keep score” behavior). We are to pray with thanksgiving on a daily basis – specifically calling out those undeserved gifts mentioned above (salvation, forgiveness, and eternity) AS WELL AS those He continues to give us on a daily basis.

There should never be a time when we stop doing this. As long as we continue to thank Him for what He has given, we are so much less likely to feel entitled to more. What we do ask for is also more likely to be in the interests of others we know who need Him!

Have you tried to “keep score” with God like this?

What were the results?

Do you have any other advice for avoiding the “keep score” behavior?