How To Handle Frustration In Prayer

In my last post, I talked about our 3 responsibilities in asking things of God. While I do believe these 3 responsibilities are very real and effective, I also know (from experience) that they do not constitute a formula for getting what we want from God. In fact, sometimes we meet frustration in prayer despite following these steps!

Frustration In Prayer?

See if these questions from my last post resonate with you. If you have prayed for anything for an extended period of time, you have likely asked these questions in some form or another.

So what is the deal? Why is it so different when we are asking of God? Why do we often get no answer (or one we don’t like!) even after praying for such a long time? Why does He seem to delay or withhold what is good from us?

Because He Loves Us!

The first answer to these questions? Because He loves us. The world puts on a show at times, but it does not love us! In fact, it hates us (John 15:18-19). So what the world will give us is often exactly what we want, but not what is good for us. God may not always give us what we want, but He WILL give us what is good for us.

This very point is made in the passage we looked at in my last post. Take another look…

9 What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
Matthew 7:9-11

His One Condition

Most of us miss the one condition that Jesus places in this passage about praying and receiving. He says that our Father will give us GOOD gifts. The condition for receiving is that the gift (what we are asking for) must be good for us. Let’s word the passage a different way to help make this point.

What if it read this way…What man among you, if his son asks him for a stone would give it to him? No, you would give him bread. Or if he asks for a snake, would you give that to him? No, you would give him fish!

Nothing Bad For Us!

Clearly, our Father is not going to give us something that is bad for us. He loves us too much for that. His purpose is to conform us to the likeness of His Son Jesus. Anything that would delay or reverse His progress in this purpose, He will withhold from us!

So, if this is true (and I am convinced based on Scripture that it is), then how should we move forward in prayer for those ideas, things, etc. that we have been praying for over a period of years? Do we quit asking despite the encouragement in this passage to “keep on asking”? How do we know what to do to eliminate this frustration in prayer?

Try These 3 Steps

I believe the following three steps can help. Again, please do not take these steps as a formula to get what you want. Take them as a guide to better ask for God’s will for you while learning exactly what that is. I hope you find these steps useful.

Step #1 – Keep Praying With Faith

As we read in my last post, there are plenty of references in Scripture that point us in this direction. We are NOT to give up praying just because we have not yet received an answer. We are NOT to give up praying simply because our request MIGHT not be good for us.

No, keep praying. Be persistent. Remain diligent and seek His face for whatever it is you want. This part is not unclear.

Step #2 – Acknowledge Possible Conflict

WHILE you are praying for whatever it is that has been on your heart, begin acknowledging to God that what you are praying for may not be good for you. Don’t stop praying for it, but let Him know you are willing to let go of it if He shows you it is His will for you to do so.

Maybe He will show you right then that your request is in conflict with His will for you. Maybe it takes time for this to happen. Maybe He will eventually grant your request when His timing is right. The Holy Spirit will guide you in this if you are attentive.

The point here is to keep asking until you receive the request or you learn it is not in His will for you. Either way, the prayer for that particular request should not end until one of these two results has occurred.

Step #3 – Listen More Closely

Finally, AS you continue to pray, also commit yourself to spending more time with God. You can do this through a combination of prayer, Bible study, fasting, and listening to His voice. The goal here is to draw closer to Him and to become more familiar with His heart and His voice.

As you do this (otherwise known as “delighting yourself in the Lord” Psalm 37:4), you will begin to see several things happen. One result will be that you will begin to know more about what God’s purposes are for your life. You will also begin to understand His heart more. His voice will become more familiar to you as well.

The result of this could be that you get clarity on whether your requests are in His will for you or not. You will also find that your desires begin to change. No longer will you want to have as much to do with what the world offers because you will find yourself drawn more to what God’s will offers, especially as this will comes more into focus.

No Downside!

Rather than stew in the frustration that comes with unanswered or apparently declined prayer (talking to myself here!), begin taking the above steps to dive deeper into the relationship with your Father. I promise, there is no downside to this!

How long have you experienced frustration in prayer?

Do you see how these steps can help?

Which is the toughest for you?