Which Relationship Is More Important?

Have you ever known what you should do, but decided against it because it would affect a relationship you have with someone else? Have your relationships ever led you away from God, when hindsight would later show you the error of your path? Maybe you knew of a change you should make in your business, but it would cost you a relationship so you passed on it?

Nehemiah’s Situation

I have been studying Nehemiah in my quiet times and came across a similar situation to this. In this story, Nehemiah has come back to a Jerusalem that is in shambles. The city walls (crucial to a city’s well-being at that time) were completely destroyed and useless for protection. Nehemiah has come to lead the Israelites to rebuild the wall and begin to reestablish Jerusalem as the city God intended.

As he strives to complete this monumental task, he faces many obstacles. He certainly faced those who completely opposed the Israelites and any rebuilding they might attempt. This was to be expected.

Unexpected Opposition

At the same time, he also faced opposition from within the people of Israel! Some of the Israelite people actually turned on him and fed information about the project to a man named Tobiah, a leader of the opposition!

During those days, the nobles of Judah sent many letters to Tobiah, and Tobiah’s letters came to them. These nobles kept mentioning Tobiah’s good deeds to me, and they reported my words to him. And Tobiah sent letters to intimidate me.
Nehemiah 6:17,19

Treasonous Behavior?

When we read about this from our perspective, their behavior seems incredibly treasonous. At first glance, I cannot imagine what they were thinking when they chose to undermine the work that Nehemiah was leading – work that was clearly God-ordained!

But when we read further, Nehemiah explains their rationale.

For many in Judah were bound by oath to him (Tobiah), since he was a son-in-law of Shecaniah son of Arah, and his son Jehohanan had married the daughter of Meshullam son of Berechiah.
Nehemiah 6:18

Relationship Confusion?

Their reasoning for their alliance with Tobiah was that they knew him, were related to him, or wanted to be known by him. Their relationship with Tobiah, whatever the basis for it, was more important to them than the work God was doing.

Of course, it is easy for us to sit here in judgment. It is not difficult for us to question their faith and criticize their behavior as weak. The problem is that these very words can come right back and be applied to us many times.

I Am Guilty, Too!

I will not accuse you, but I am certainly guilty of allowing personal or business relationships to cloud my vision or even alter my behavior at times. There are times I have wanted to broach a spiritual topic with a friend or family member, but decided against it in fear of ruining a relationship.

Other times, I have failed to speak up in a meeting here or there about something I felt God was leading me to say, simply because I was too concerned about what the others in the meeting might think.

I am sure there are even times I cannot remember or was not even aware of due to a blind spot where I disobeyed God or opposed His work in favor of another relationship. Maybe you feel the same way.

Jesus On Relationships

Folks, we need to remember the words of Jesus when it comes to situations like this. While we should not “hate” in the traditional sense, I think the message is clear…our relationship with Him comes first.

If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be My disciple.
Luke 14:26

Are you guilty of placing other relationships ahead of Jesus?

What evidence do you see in your life, job, or business?

What do you think would be different if you chose Him instead?